my dad doing his thing

STRESS AND STRESS MANAGEMENT
LECTURE DELIVERED FOR MEN FELLOWSHIP BREAKFAST MEETING JUNE 2010
The primitive cave man who suddenly see a lion looking for its meal in front of him – would suddenly exhibit a fight-or-flight reaction in which he would fight the lion or run into safety. The cave man who failed to react quickly would become a meal in the mouth of the hungry lion.
In this age – a typical normal person who is trying to cross the highway as he/she steps into the road – suddenly hears the sound of a vehicle horn – jumps back, starts to breathe fast, heart pounding, visibly shaken, perspiring profusely. He/she has just had a fight-or-flight response.
The common factor is the stress – which is certain threat to safety by the sudden appearance of a lion or the vehicle to which the person must adjust/respond instantly otherwise – survival is lost. Jumping back of the road is the fight – or flight response.
In other words fight-or-flight response is inbuilt in the human being for survival from threats. So it is essential. This response which is essential to our survival is action resulting from a complex physiological/chemical reaction involving the cerebral cortex, hypothalamus, limbic system, thyroid adrenal glands.
We know that in today’s society the fight-or-flight response has become a threat itself – a threat to our health. The threat to safety – in the form of sudden appearance of a vehicle is the stressor while the stress reactivity is the response exhibited in form of fight-or-flight. The fight or flight response was necessary, and its rapidity was vital for survival.

Then What causes Stress?
The answer is partly stressor and partly stress reactivity.
Stress reactivity includes increased muscle tension, increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, increased autonomic nervous system activity – dry mouth, increased perspiration, raised serum glucose, increased HC(secretion in the stomach and increased urination).
STRESS MANAGEMENT GOAL
We should get it clear that the goal of Stress Management is not to eliminate all stress. Life would certainly be dull without joyful stressors to which we have to adjust and a distressor needing response.
Furthermore, stress is often a motivator for peak performance. For example, when one is experiencing stress about an upcoming test, you will be more likely to study more intensely than if you are not concerned.
It is important therefore to know that not all stress are unwanted. We need some level of stimulation i.e. stress to write an examination, pass an interview such is called eustress otherwise we will go into exam hall “flat”. Yet, when this situation overwhelms us, we can’t perform, we are destabilized, we may become confused – we may not even be able to quote our exam number correctly – such a reaction is negative to performance – it is called “distress”.
Manifestations of Stress
- Sweating - Shaking
- Urinary urgency & frequency - diarrhea
- Nervous - watery palm
- Headache - migraine
- Restless - neck pain
- Palpitation - fast breathing
- Cold hands - irrational talk
- Irrational behavior - hot temper
- Dizziness - agitation
- Hostile - mental breakdown
- Lack of concentration - not able to cope with spouse
- Decrease performance in office/job - hypertension
- Peptic ulcer - indigestion
- Aggression, displaced aggression -irritable etc.
In real life setting, stress begins with a life situation (event) that knocks you (gently or abruptly) out of balance. You are shoved into disequilibrium and need to “right” yourself. Your step or action taken to “right” yourself – reactions – to bring you back to balance can be appropriate and so life goes on or inappropriate with consequent ill-health in various forms. Nobody is immune to stress, we only learn to cope in various ways depending on our personality, spirituality, personal exposure and other factors.
Yoruba adage says “Even if you don’t have anything to pursue, what of those things pursuing you which must never overtake you”. So everybody will agree with me that nobody can escape stress.
The real life causes of stress – challenges or attack or stressors are:
Life events vis: (1) Death
-Loss of spouse
- Loss of child in the family
- Loss of parents
- Loss of sponsor = “Kiku ma pa alanu mi”
- Loss of other close relations or friends
(2) Divorce or separation
(3) Change of Faith/Religion
(4) Loss of job, under employment
(5) Collapse of business/bankruptcy
(6) Difficult spouse/children/parents
(7) Jilted Lover
(8) Unemployment
(9) Traffic chaos
(10) Violence and crime in the neighbourhood
(11) Our life style
(12) Our ambition
(13) Over promotion
(14) Over size family
The list is inexhaustible. It spans the whole realm of human endeavour.
Diseases such as hypertension, diabetes, asthma etc are worsened in the presence of stress. Stress initiates some of those diseases or aggravates them. Even stress has a hand in Malaria. Lay man rightly observe this when they say “I was exposed to too much wahala recently – travelled home or elsewhere – therefore I have malaria.”
In the present day Nigeria, the citizenry is stressed to a breaking point. Or else how do you see or react to recent events local and national vis Rumour of bank collapse that eventually surfaced in “the untouchable” being booted out – depositors who could have lost their life saving in the banks if they were closed down! It was a close share!
OR – ATM problem – where people clone your account number and you just discovered some faceless person have withdrawn your hard earned money from your account in Port Harcourt or elsewhere where you have never been! You want to invest in Stock exchange people hijack your dividend, open an account elsewhere in your name to match that on the cheque and so withdraw later.
OR Keep your money under your pillow – boys come calling “Open and cooperate OR – All the Boko Haram, all the Niger Delta militants. Organised kidnapping and other crime and violence in the neigbourhood! Etc
The list is endless and if anybody did not agree with me at the start, I am sure you now agree you are affected! It is a silent killer – Stress is a silent killer – killing its victim slowly! Now that we have idea of what stress is, what do we do?
STRESS MANAGEMENT
Here is a unique disease that does not resolve on medication but rather on counseling and other measure.
1. HUMOR
Bill Cosby (American Comedian said “If you can laugh, then you can survive any situation” when asked how he was coping with the murder of his son.
With escalating stressful situation in Nigeria, God has created a new way of coping for us. Many comedians are now arriving at the scene to serve the increasing number of stressed Nigerians. It used to be Baba Sala, Aluwe, Papa Ajasco or just a hand full of them that cannot go round in the contemporary Nigeria.
2. RECREATION
Games and hobby make us relax from the chronic tense muscles of the neck and head and back pain associated with stress. I do not need to describe the followership or fans of the English Premier League is also the Serie A of Italian and Spain. Far away as they are that have good effect on our youth who are stressed to a breaking point.

3. SPIRITUALITY
Here in the Fellowship Camp just as we have in our various weekly meetings we share a lot of our problems and challenges. The Bible Study, the Sermon, the Sunday School topics thrashed in details etc often expose our “ignorance” in that we just discover we are not alone in our “struggle”.
Spirituality helps us to overcome or cope with stress. Problem shared is problem half solved or other ways.
4. DELEGATING
Pastor who has IHD on ECG and fainted briefly. He also has a lot of night vigil to conduct. He is straining his heart, collapse due to physical exhaustion. He was placed on medications, counselled he can continue his pastoral job but should take advice of Moses In-Law – you alone cannot do this job – therefore delegate some duties/work to suitable members/elders etc.
5. EXERCISES
Walking a determined distance on regular basis. Playing games and other meditations are important part of it.
6. APPROPRIATELY RELATING WITH SPOUSE AND FAMILY
If everybody frustrates me outside e.g. in the office, traffic or any other place getting home is always a welcome relief. God teaches us companionship when he made it clear that it is not good for the man to be alone “so he found him a wife. Two heads are better than one.
7. MUSIC
Music is one of the important way of relaxing from tension – even mourning is modified if appropriate music is played.
8. TAKING A STROLL
Rather than break, take a stroll when “the heat” is getting too much. People do it with good effect.
9. HOLIDAY
Most of the time we visit countryside say back in Kwara State or our other home state we are refreshed. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
10. CONFIDANT FOR DISCUSSION
This is important. The confidant can be your fellowship member/Leader, Pastor or close friend.
11. DEVELOP “ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE”
Both to God and fellowmen. Have you said “thank you” to anybody today? When I come down from “danfo” whether they listen or not, it’s my habit to say “thank you”. Even if I face the conductor, the gratitude is actually to God. So have you said “thank you” today.
If I were asked to choose the best way to manage stress – I would probably choose COMMUNICATING WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND OBTAINING SOCIAL AND SPIRITUAL SUPPORT FROM THEM.
THANKS FOR LISTENING.
ELDER (DR) B.A. ALABI

MUSING

The mark of a saint is not perfection, but consecration. A saint is not a man without faults, but a man who has given himself without reserve to God. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
Nothing is going to change my love for you. You ought to know by now how much I love you, one thing you can be sure of is that am never going to ask for more than your love. If you should leave me now am going to take it like a guiding star to know what is wrong. I will be there if ever you need me, just before, hold me close, love me now, I don’t want to live without you.
Nothing can take the wind out of our sail, the sky may be dark, the days full of uncertainty but at dusk I’m okay if you still got that smile that melts my heart, that velvet voice that tingles in my ears, that soft laugh that rings like melody in my soul, the glitter of your eyes that is the gateway to the soul, the nice curly hair that evokes passion in me. The unthinkable ideas that makes you who you are, a sensation of beauty, splendor and poise!
Hail the queen of my hearts! Her majesty with an enduring crown! So full of grace and candour yet humble like a peasant. What more can I say, you make my world spin too fast that I fear for my poor heart! What have I done to deserve this rare privilege? Indeed you are beautiful inside, ethereal and esoteric in nature, shining outside, you can do no wrong if you will cease from man and look above to the one who is able to save and love forever---Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour.

1000 steps to walk free from stress

It’s a fact, America is becoming obese at an alarming rate and the rest of the world is following close behind. We are eating more (and more of the wrong stuff) and exercising less or getting no exercise at all. Our health is in steep decline and doctor and hospital visits are at all time highs. Just a brisk 30-minute walk a day can begin to turn that around.

You name it, we have it, and it’s getting worse. Heart and cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, stroke, out of control blood sugar levels, diabetes, obesity, and more. The U.S. Surgeon General recommends getting at least 20-30 minutes of moderate activity each day and many of us are falling far short of even that.

Studies show the average person takes about 3000 to 5000 steps a day, and some even much less. Let’s face it, we just do not get the exercise our ancestors did a hundred or so years ago and we tend to eat more refined foods. For some of us, most of steps we take are from the easy chair in front of the TV to the fridge so we can fill up on snacks. For others, like me, we sit at a computer all day as part of our jobs.

Many fitness experts recommend we walk 10,000 steps a day to maintain our weight and overall good health. 10,000 steps are approximately 5 miles, give or take depending on the length of your stride. You will need to purchase and wear a pedometer to count how many steps you take each day. Follow the directions that usually come with the pedometer. Do this for a week or two and you will get a good average step count. Your goal is to reach 10,000 or more steps each day. There is nothing magical about 10,000, but it will put you in the right ballpark.

As a general rule, a person will burn about 100 calories walking a mile, depending on age, size, and fitness level. The heavier you are, the more calories you will burn.

Become creative on ways to increase your steps. At work, go for walks at lunchtime. Go for walks with your spouse or children. Walk the dog. Walk to the store instead of driving, or park at the far end of the parking lot. Use the stairs instead of the elevator. For me, I take brisk 2-mile walks around the neighborhood twice a day everyday (aerobic walking). Just do whatever works best for you, but do it! You will need good walking shoes and socks to prevent injury when walking for exercise (like aerobic walking).

Go to your favorite search engine and type in “10,000 steps” to learn more about this life saving, life changing program. The information is abundant.




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how to make money with autoresponder

15 creative ways to earn using autoresponders.http://mistermayowa.blogspot.com mayowa
An interested visitor who has been strolling through your site has finally come to just what she is looking for and is about to make a purchase. It’s a sunny afternoon, and her computer suddenly goes off.
In the blink of an eye, your visitor exits your site, and your sale is dust - unless you have had the foresight to utilize an autoresponder that has captured her email address. If you have installed an autoresponder, you can then follow-up with her, and in all probability, make the sale when the poor woman has finished putting her computer in order.
Autoresponders are remarkable, versatile programs that do so much more than just automatically answer your email. Here are a few ideas that will help you to creatively and productively use your autoresponder to transform the casual visitor into a profitable customer. Use your autoresponder to:http://tinyurl.com/2lkt2g

1. Publish a newsletter. Certain quality autoresponders will manage subscriptions and follow-up with interested prospects. Your newsletter can keep your visitors informed about your services or products, while building your reputation as a credible expert in your particular business.
2. Publish a newsletter only for your affiliates. Inform them of current sales you are running and of promotional material that your affiliates can use themselves to increase their commissions. Include tips, advice, and techniques that your affiliates can use to successfully go out and promote your business.
3. Write reviews. Cover books, software, music, e-books, movies, etc., and put each review in an autoresponder. Review your affiliate programs, using a link to your affiliate’s page in your autoresponder.
4. Distribute your articles. Writing and distributing targeted articles is a powerful tool to build your business credibility, bring traffic to your site, and increase your sales potential. If your articles contain valuable information, many editors will print what is known as a resource box for you. A resource box contains your bio and a brief description of your service or product. It can also contain your autoresponder address. Let’s say you’ve written fifty articles. Put them on separate autoresponder accounts and create a master list that contains the titles of each article, the autoresponder address, and a brief abstract. Then promote your master list. Additionally, include your publishing guidelines so your affiliates can add their articles to your list, increasing the number of writers who are represented in your article list.
5. Create mailing lists. Inform subscribers to your articles when you’ve written new ones that they may want to publish in their own newsletter or website.
6. Automate your sales process. Use an ad to insure repeated exposure of your message, which has been proven to effectively increase sales. In your ad, put your autoresponder address where a visitor will be exposed to numerous marketing materials. This multiplies the chances of converting visitors into customers. For example, if you’re selling a particular product, put testimonials about how spectacular it is on your autoresponder, and add a detailed, enticing description of your product.
7. Distribute advertising. Let’s say you sell advertising on your website or in your newsletter or e-zine. Set your autoresponder to send the information about rates and how to place an ad automatically to all prospects’ email addresses. Then have your autoresponder follow-up. It can also send notification of any special deals you are currently offering.
8. Distribute an email course. Each day, have your autoresponder send out another lesson. Just be sure that each lesson has quality content - not a sales pitch. Your content will do the selling for you, and will do it much more effectively. You can include tips centered on a different topic for each lesson, illustrating how your product will benefit the reader. Include the tangible benefits the visitor will reap by purchasing your product. Make sure to include a paragraph or two at the end of each lesson enticing your prospect to consider making a purchase.
9. Automate a reminder about your service or product after a visitor has completed your course. This will increase the possibility of sales from visitors who have taken your course but are dragging their feet about actually making a purchase. You can also use these reminders to promote new products or services, and the products and services of your affiliate programs.
10. Distribute free reports. This gives your visitor an idea of the type of information you can provide and the quality of your product or service. Make sure these reports are not sales letters or you will more than likely lose a potential customer than gain a sale.
11. Create trivia quizzes on your site and place the answers in an autoresponder. Your visitor will then be motivated to request your autoresponder, and you will have a record of the visitors’ email addresses who took your quiz. Or create a contest and have any visitors that enter send their responses to your autoresponder. Your autoresponder can be set-up to send them a confirmation of their entry.
12. Offer a trial version of your product. Give your prospects a sample of your ebook, course, software, membership, etc. People who are exposed to a little taste often end up wanting the whole pie. You can also capture their email addresses when you offer them a free trial from your website. Set up your autoresponder to give instructions on how to obtain their free trial, and then make sure to follow-up to try and close the sale.
13. Link to hidden pages on your autoresponder. For example, a hidden page could be your affiliate page that contains graphics, promotional articles, and text links that interested affiliates can make use of. Inform visitors that they may have free access to your affiliate page by simply requesting your autoresponder. You will then gather a list of visitors who may be interested in becoming your affiliates.
14. Use an autoresponder on your order page. Post a request form for visitors to be notified of special offers or discounts in the future. This creates a very effective mailing list that contains the names of people who are already your customers.http://tinyurl.com/2lkt2g

15. Put your links page on your autoresponder. It should ideas of your own! interest to your visitors. Make sure to add your own promotional copy at the top or bottom of this page.
Now that you have proof that autoresponders can be used creatively, see if you can come up with some brilliant messages containing up to fifty links that would be of particular interest to your prospects or customers.
To get an autoresponder that I highly recommend,please click here.
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aff mkt

More and more people these days are turning to one of the most popular businesses around - the business of affiliate marketing. In this business, there are no bosses, deadlines to meet, or piles of work that have to be finished by the end of the day. In order to succeed, you only need the necessary tools.There are basically five things you can't do without if you want to make it in the business of affiliate marketing. Below, you'll find each quality you'll need.1. Desire to learn - The first quality you must possess is the desire to learn, coupled with the willingness to be trained. Treading through unfamiliar territory is tough indeed, especially if your lacking the right knowledge. This is a combination of the right frame of mind, coupled with a strong work ethic.When starting out, you'll need to be willing to keep your eyes and ears open, using the experience of others to learn more as you go.2. Invest time and effort - The second quality you must have is the willingness to invest time and effort in helping your business grow, even if you don't see immediate results. Even though weeks may pass without hearing good news, it's very important for anyone who wants to get their foot in the business world.3. Determination - The third quality you'll need is determination. If you want to make it in the world of affiliate marketing, you must possess to push yourself forward. The ability to push yourself to greater heights will determine what type of future you have.4. Discipline - The fourth quality is self discipline. If you teach yourself to work everyday with all of your heart and soul, you'll be that much closer to reaching your goals and making your dreams come true.5. Optimism - The last quality you must have is optimism. Bad attitudes should never discourage an affiliate marketer from pursuing their dreams in order to make life better for themselves or anyone around them.The attitude you have towards the business should always be good, because you'll have to realize that you're the captain of your ship and your the one steering it towards destiny.If you put the above tips to good use, you'll go farther than you ever thought possible in the world of affiliate marketing. You'll need these qualities to succeed, as affiliate marketing can be a cutting edge career. With the above qualities, you'll do just fine in the industry.http://www.mistermayowa.blogspot.com

aff marketing

Affiliate marketing programs are a great way to get income for your website, and a great introduction to e-commerce. The more people that drop by your website, the great your chance will be at creating an excellent income.Affiliate marketing programs are where a company offers to pay you a set amount for either a click through from your website, or a set amount for visitors signing up, or even a percentage of a purchase made by visitors as a result of being referred from your website.Even if visitors don't make a purchase immediately, almost all programs offer cookie duration, normally consisting of 30 - 90 days. What this means, is that as long as the visitors have the cookie in their cache, you'll still recieve a profit from the sale. The biggest amount of time in maintaining your site will be searching and implementing affiliations with various companies. Even though there's a lot of money in affiliate marketing, you have to take the time to search for the best programs.One thing that you may not be happy with, is the idea of other companies banners littering your website. If you use too many banners or links on any web page, it can confuse and help to irritate your visitors. More than one animated element on a web page can be very distracting as well.Affiliate tracking can also be a problem. Once you have applied to become an affiliate for a company, they'll usually supply you with a personalized link or code. It's very important that you implement this code into your page correctly, or you may be sending visitors to the company without recieving any profit.A majority of snippets in the code will contain a unique user ID, which the company uses to distinguish which site sent traffic. Click Here For The Best Affiliate http://www.master.clickbank.com